Positive Coaching Principles for Parents

Positive Coaching Principles for Parents

Parents impact their children’s lives like no other people can and do best by their children when focusing on sports as a developmental opportunity, rather than a do-or-die, win-at-all-cost proposition.

  • Unconditional love for their children regardless of athletic performance and a relentless commitment to helping them process the ups and downs of youth sports marks the positive sports parent.
  • Showing respect and courtesy to all players, coaches, officials, parents and spectators at all times, including those of opposing and other teams.

1. Parent Pledge

  • As a Second-Goal Parent I will let players and coaches take responsibility for the first goal of winning. I will relentlessly focus on the second, more important, goal of using sports to teach life lessons to my child and other youth.
  • I will use positive encouragement to fill the Emotional Tanks of my children, their teammates, and coaches. I understand that people do their best with full E-Tanks.
  • I will reinforce the ELM Tree of Mastery with my child (E for Effort, L for Learning, M for bouncing back from Mistakes). Because I understand a mastery approach will help my child be successful in sports and in life, I will encourage my child to:
    • put in a high level of effort to get better,
    • cultivate a Teachable Spirit to continue to learn and improve, and
    • use a Mistake Ritual (e.g., “flushing mistakes”) to quickly rebound from mistakes.
  • I will set an example for my child by Honoring the Game and will encourage him/her to remember ROOTS – respect for the Rules, Opponents, Officials, Teammates, and Self. If the official makes a “bad” call against my team, I will Honor the Game and be silent!
  • I will use a self-control routine to avoid losing my composure when things go wrong. I will take a deep breath, turn away from the game to refocus, count backwards from 100 or use self-talk (“I need to be a role model. I can rise above this.”).
  • I will engage in No-Directions Cheering. I will limit my comments during the game to encouraging my child and other players (from both teams).
  • I will get my child to practice and games on time and will be on time picking my child up after games and practices.
  • I will refrain from making negative comments about my child’s coach in my child’s presence. I understand that this will help to avoid planting negative seeds in my child’s head that can negatively influence my child’s motivation and overall experience.
  • I will support a drug, alcohol, and tobacco free environment at youth sporting events.
  • I will encourage my child to be the point of contact for all communication with the coach.
  • I will observe a mandatory “24-hour cooling off” period following a game before discussing with the coach any issue I or my child may have regarding the game. After the 24-hour period, I may contact the coach to arrange a time to privately discuss the issue.
  • I will take time to learn the rules of soccer:

2. Parent Homework

This fun video breaks (down) all the important rules!

This short video shares valuable insight from a 2x World Cup champ.

 

Another fun video that argues why parents really need to chill out.